I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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