you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
