is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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