I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
You are the jesus of drinking
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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