Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
