I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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