just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize