I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
cat food counts as protein by the way
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize