I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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