She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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