It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
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