Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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