i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize