Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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