I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
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