I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Good news!! I can adult!! π turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ππ
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
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