Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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