She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
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