I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Randomize
