You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
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The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
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I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
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