How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
