I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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