im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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