you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
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