I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
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