yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
