Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
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Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
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Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
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