school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Randomize
