Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
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