Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
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