Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
