Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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