you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
