with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
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