Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
