I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
