Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
