Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
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