so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Terrible idea I love it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
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