lets start a swedish sibling band together
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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