if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
