maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
