Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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