god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
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