I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
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