how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
