If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.