final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
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