u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Please don't give away my fajitas
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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