I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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