Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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