have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Couch. On fire.
Randomize
