spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
whose ass print is on the piano?
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Randomize
