Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.