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he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
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