my phone cant type all the emotion im having
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control