Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
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