She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
