fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
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